and then it's September.

每段感情都非常珍贵

他的好
你就放在心扉

记得有个人
曾让你那样的心碎

It's possible that my heart...can be broken.

3 days went on like forever.

and then.

With all my heart.

where the wild things are

now i remember, this is what magic sounded like.

The Idiot.

I stared at my monitor screen for a long while, not too sure how to start this particular entry. But I feel the need to write out most of these thoughts before it passes, I think, in a matter of time. Like the fleeting moments after which we often forget to write down the things that actually mean, a lot to ourselves.

At 25 degree Celsius, my room felt cold enough with the air-conditioning as it is, but no less colder than the news I have received via the updates from peers and colleagues on Facebook. In fact, I just frozed.

I met Yasmin during one of the workshops that was held by the organization I'm working for. She was a guest speaker and she shared with us her own philosophy towards human relationships, she spoke of how she seek out the genuineness in people, and how she always managed to inculcate her brand of sensitivity into her works for film and television. She exuded a certain charm, and gave off a whole lot of light (and humour) during her presentation, and that no one was able to draw their attention away from her. Yasmin Ahmad is a human. One who understands oneself, and feels for the others.

After the talk, I went up to her and like a shy fan, asked to take a picture with her. She readily agreed and flashed out a cheeky grin for the snap. As she turned to walk away, I muttered "You're so..."

She looked back, bewildered and wondered what I was trying to say.

"You're so... full of heart."

She gave a laugh.

"I'm just an idiot", she said.

A very, very nice idiot. I thought to myself.

Words cannot express how I feel at this moment. Even though I've only met her for a brief session, I felt I've learned a great deal of a lesson about making sense of what lies ahead in my own practice of filmmaking, and to a certain extent, the appreciation of life for what it is. Truly, she is a role model. Most importantly, she brightened up my day.

For the people who knew her well, I'm sure they would have a whole lot more stories to share.

Asia has lost a brilliant filmmaker.

The world has lost a great person, whose heart will always be irreplaceable.


I am optimistic and sentimental to the point of being annoying, especially to people who think that being cynical and cold is cool. Everyday, I thank Allah for everyday things like the ability to breathe, the ability to love, the ability to laugh, and the ability to eat and drink. - Yasmin Ahmad

Goodbye Yasmin. You will be missed.

now i know i can dance to dylan.

Mcbealism

Yes I'm out of the hiatus. But then again, I never really took a break. Many things happened - A newfound career, which could potentially be my calling after all, and then, and then, nothing much else.

Maybe it's because I have nothing interesting to write about, or that I've just been thinking about a different direction I might go with the blogging. Well they've all been random thoughts, and random is good.

I've been to Indonesia lately for work, and it was the first time I felt I've finally became a working adult.

But this entry is not going to be about that.

I bought the entire collection of Ally Mcbeal (all 5 seasons, thank you pirates) and happily think I'm in for a good reminiscence, remembering how much I've enjoyed the series many years ago.

Starting from the pilot, all the main characters came back into my mind while I was watching it. John Cage and his frog, Richard Fish and his fetish for wattles, Elaine's annoying staple in every single episode, her eavesdropping into any office conversation, Ling's 'deathly' stare, Billy's indecisiveness and of course Ally's eccentricity and her highly imaginative fantasies.

I'm stalled at Season Two at the moment and there's no deny that there are several gem episodes that I can never forget - the boy who tried to sue God; the man who saw the unicorn and the tie-in episode with the cast from The Practice.

Just something bugs me. Perhaps it was how bitter i felt when Ally couldn't decide between Billy and Greg. Or that she rejected a good-natured rabbi just because she doesn't want to try to find the connection. Or that she was constantly imagining the worst of all the good men she met. Like the guy with the salad sauce - ridiculous. And she claims she's alone. That annoys me. It wouldn't have been the case few years back. Now I think she's just a dumb, narcissistic, indecisive weakling who has not and never will find love, when all the while, she has been loved.

But maybe it's just about me. We are similar, in the same chronic manner.

I think, it's possible my heart cannot be broken.

If Brad Pitt does win the Oscar on Sunday night...

he deserve it for being perfectly beautiful.

Absolutely nothing wrong with that. :)